One Year Ago Today...

...We saw our daughter's face for the first time.

Referral picture, April 21, 2010:

April 21, 2011:

Wow. What a difference a year makes. One year ago today I was running all over town, completing paperwork and getting answers while my head was spinning. I had waited so long to finally know who Caitlin, my DAUGHTER, was, and yet now that it was actually happening, it just didn't seem real. It was like a dream- a wonderful, amazing dream!

From the phone call that woke me up from a deep sleep early that morning (our agency is 3 time zones ahead of us) when I heard the words "We matched you with a beautiful baby girl last night!", to that night when I finally fell into bed, exhausted, the entire day was surreal. I remember only bits and pieces of it, like driving up to drop off paperwork with our social worker while listening to my "Mama Mia" CD, and crying- sobbing- at the song "Slipping Through My Fingers" (a song about a mother wondering where all the time had gone, as she was helping her daughter get ready for her wedding). I just kept telling myself "I have a daughter!," but it just wouldn't sink in.

Now, one year later, Caitlin is home. She's settled in with her family, where she belongs. She's happy and confident- a totally different child from the one we saw in those first pictures. She is no longer a dream; she is as much a part of my life as my right arm. I honestly cannot imagine my life without her.

I admit, I still get a thrill anytime I say "my daughter;" I hope that thrill never wears off. And I hope I never forget that amazing day when I first saw my daughter's face.