Bad News

Looks like the CCAA is going to hold off on sending out any more referrals or Travel Approvals for the time being, due to the Swine Flu. Luckily this should not affect our wait in any way; when the SARS epidemic hit a few years ago, the CCAA also halted all referrals, but they continued matching babies with families so that as soon as the travel ban was lifted they sent out huge batches of referrals to make up for the time lost. Since we still have years to wait, this will all even out long before they get to us on the waiting list.

I am a little sad because I was really excited about starting to move marbles and getting the "Countdown to Caitlin" rolling, but I really just feel terrible for the people who are next in line: those who were expecting their referrals to be arriving any day now, and those who just got their referrals last month and were waiting for their Travel Approval from China so they could go get their children and bring them home. Imagine waiting over 3 years, then finally having a picture of your child in your hand, but you can't get to her/him. I just can't fathom how devastating this news must be for them. After waiting so long, it's finally their turn, but now this. To just be held in limbo like this, with no idea of what's to come, or when, is just so heartbreaking.

Celebration Time (Again)!

Paul and I decided to celebrate our big LID news by treating ourselves to a nice Hawaiian restaurant in Pebble Beach that we have been hearing about. Even though we celebrated back in January before we left Virginia (when our paperwork was done and we thought our DTC and LID were just around the corner), we felt that we deserved another celebration since the past two months (since our last celebration) have been rough. :)

I have been wanting to see Pebble Beach and the 17 Mile Drive for as long as we've been here, but I did not want to pay the $9 fee to get in (call me frugal, but $9 to take a 17-mile drive seemed steep)! But since we had reservations at a restaurant on the 17-Mile drive, we were able to get in without charge. We went early so we could explore a bit before dinner. Both the 17-Mile drive and dinner were OUTSTANDING!! It was a very nice evening.

Marble Jars

Now that we have our LID we can start counting down! The waiting list is currently at March 8, 2006, meaning everyone with an LID on that date and before have already received their referrals. There are 1,109 days between that date and our LID (March 20, 2009), so all the people who are Logged In during those 1,109 days have to get their referrals before we can get ours.

The CCAA is currently only referring a few days worth of LIDs a month, but everyone is hoping for a speedup very soon (and there are many signs that it is beginning to happen). We are planning for a 3-year wait (that is how long the people who are getting referrals right now have waited), but we are hoping and praying for less- and we understand that it could be longer, too. So this will be a very long "pregnancy", but in the end it will be SO worth it!

I am going to keep up with the "Countdown to Caitlin" by using these jars:
The first jar is for "LIDs still to go". There are now 1,109 marbles in the jar to represent the number of LIDs that have to be referred before we can get our referral.

The second jar ("Days Closer to Caitlin") is currently empty, but as the CCAA sends out referrals I can begin moving marbles from Jar #1 to Jar #2, one for each LID referred.Hopefully the CCAA will send loads of referrals, and quickly! I can't wait to watch Jar #1 empty and Jar #2 grow!

I couldn't resist...

WE'RE ("paper") PREGNANT!!!!!!

March 20, 2009: our LID!!!

I just got an e-mail from Philip! I was so worried since it has been over 5 weeks since our DTC and I was so afraid China had lost our paperwork, but we have actually been Logged In for over 3 weeks now (exactly 2 weeks from our DTC)... China just took their sweet time letting us know! We are FINALLY officially on the waiting list!!!

We are FINALLY paper pregnant!!!!

Nada

Just wanted to update to say we still haven't heard anything. I e-mailed Philip on Friday (which marked the 4-week anniversary from our DTC; today is officially 1 month from our DTC) and he said that this has happened before (such a long wait from DTC to LID) and not to worry...

Easier said than done! (So much for a March LID.)

Adoption's Not Easy!

Anyone who thinks that adoption is the "easy way" to start a family couldn't be more wrong! While I'm not complaining and I would do it all again in a flash, this has been a very stressful, emotional, and difficult journey so far. We have been working very hard on this for a very long time: It was a year and a half ago that Paul and I first made the decision to go forward with our adoption plan at this point in our lives (Fall, 2007); it's been one year since we signed a contract with our first agency (the one that later went out of business) and officially began the process, and it took us 10 months to put our dossier together and get it to China. We still are not logged in, and we have at least a 2 to 3 year wait ahead of us before we will finally meet our child!

While we are waiting for our referral we will have to keep up with our paperwork as some of it will expire. We will have to do a whole new homestudy once we get settled in our new home, and we will have to update that homestudy every 12 months. Our USCIS paperwork will also expire; we will have to be re-fingerprinted again next February, then renew our I-800A. The first time they do this for free, but after that we will have to pay all over again.

No, I don't have to be pregnant for 9 months, but at least with a pregnancy you have an idea when your baby is coming. And you only have to wait 9 months to meet your baby when you're pregnant- we may wait 2-1/2 to 4 times longer than that, or more! Plus, when you are pregnant you have the constant reminder of your little one; you can physically see him/her growing inside you, and feel him/her move. You get ultrasounds to actually see his/her face, and you can hear the heartbeat. With adoption we get none of these special reminders or "connections" to our baby; instead we get to celebrate things like completing paperwork or getting updates from our agency. That is why I sometimes buy little things for Caitlin, even though it will be years before I meet her; by buying her some clothes or books or starting to buy a few things for her nursery, it reminds me that she is on the way, and that is what keeps me going even when things get stressful or seem hopeless.

Yes, we get to take a big trip at the end of our "pregnancy" instead of the pains of labor, but the trip to China is not exactly a vacation! Imagine being handed a baby that you have never met before, who is 8-18 months old (not a newborn, mind you), and you are instantly a parent. Although you are thrilled beyond belief since you have been waiting for this magical day for years, your beautiful new baby has no idea what is going on. She is scared, confused, and grieving the loss of the only life she has known. You know she is going to a much better life, but she doesn't understand that. Now imagine trying to bond with this baby (which may but probably won't come easily) while living in a hotel room and traveling from city to city within a country that you know very little about. She is likely sick (many of the babies come down with some type of cold/respiratory illness, or constipation at best due to all the sudden and abrupt changes; either way they're not feeling "tip-top"), you are probably sick as well (either with the same respiratory illness that everyone seems to come down with during the trip, probably from the pollution, or a stomach bug, probably from eating foods you are not used to), as well as extremely jet lagged since you were only in this time zone (on the other side of the planet) for a day or 2 before your life completely changed and you became parents. Now you are dealing for the first time with a new, sick, scared little child, in a new country, with none of your resources and support that you have back home. She is crying, but she doesn't know or trust you so when you try to comfort her she only cries harder. She doesn't sleep because she is scared and confused, so even though you are exhausted and jet lagged, you don't sleep. She won't eat because the formula or bottles you give her are not what she is used to... I could go on and on, but the point is this is not a pleasure trip!

Please don't get me wrong; I am looking forward to all these challenges! Although it will not be easy- I realize that being a parent is the hardest job I will ever have, but also the most rewarding- I can't wait! I am just a realist. I have researched and researched this process, almost to the point of obsession (typical of me!), and I feel I have a good idea of what to expect. I plan to be as prepared as I can be, but I also know to expect the unexpected. I just felt the need to write this post to try to explain to the people outside of the adoption world that it's not just a matter of signing a few papers and, VOILA!- you're handed a happy, giggling baby and you all live happily ever after...

I met a family at a baseball game last year. They had 3 daughters: two biological and the youngest was adopted from China. I asked the mom which she thought was easier: giving birth or adopting. She said "Honey, I had my first daughter naturally, my second by a C-section, and my third was adopted, so I feel I have every possible route to becoming a parent covered. Without hesitation I can say that adoption was BY FAR the most difficult of the three- but so worth it!"

Nope, still nothing...

I'm giving Philip until tomorrow (tomorrow will officially be 2-1/2 weeks from our DTC) before I start calling! Boy- nothing's easy in this process; it seems every step has had me worried because it took longer than it should have.

Ladybug socks, you'd better do your job soon or YOU'RE FIRED!! :)

Nothing yet

Just wanted to update and say that we still have not gotten "the call" (giving us our official LID), but Philip had said that it would be 2 to 2-1/2 weeks. Today marks the 2-week point, so if we don't hear something today then hopefully early next week.

I'm just getting so anxious and tired of waiting. This entire process just seems to be dragging! Don't get me wrong, I fully understand that the biggest wait is still ahead of us (the possibly 3-year + "paper pregnancy"), but that wait can't even start until we finish this first step (the "paperchase"). I feel I've been as patient as possible, but I wanted to be logged in 6 months ago! I thought that, if I did everything in my power to get things done quickly, we could complete the paperwork in a few months. Then I had to accept the fact that there is a huge majority of this process which I have absolutely no control over, and the people who do have the control simply don't care that this is so important to me. But short of praying hard and wearing my ladybug socks, there is really nothing I can do about it so I try not to obsess (too much)!

More ladybug socks for my collection

No, no news yet; we're still waiting for the big phone call... one day sometime soon (hopefully this week) Philip will call to say we are officially LID, and therefore "paper pregnant!"

I did want to share my new ladybug socks that Paul's mom bought for me today:Aren't they adorable?! I love them, and I just know they are full of good luck!!